Amazing Grace

Yesterday was a perfect day. Perfectly what it was. It was the day that we gathered around and laid my dear Dale to rest.  The ceremony was simple, the pastor did a wonderful eulogy that was short, but just long enough.  There were a couple of poems read by my daughter and myself, a beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace by the Celtic Women on CD that enveloped us like angels singing all around us.  A few people spoke about what Dale had meant in their lives. His little cedar box rested on a table covered with a quilt that his mother had made. Homey and cosy.  I asked his son if he wanted to place his small box of ashes in the ground as his last gesture of love.   Then I gave him the quilt as a memory of his father and grandparents. All of the people that seemed important in his life were present and I don't think there was  a dry eye present, but no outright sobbing either. I only shed a few tears as I have already sobbed my heart out so many days before.  The sun was shining and the wind was blowing but not cold.  Yes, I have never felt anything so perfect and peaceful in my life.

And now, that chapter is closed, but there is more to be written as I go on figuring out my solo place in this world.  I would still be thrilled to fly by his side this very minute, but I will someday when it is my time.

I have spoken to several widows ( a term that I am not accustomed to at all) and have been told that it does get better, but leaves a deep wound. Many would still tear up  as they spoke of many years gone by.  But that is perfect, too.  Perfect love and grief.  I have to take solace in the fact that life really is what it is no matter how bad it seems at times. 

This brings me around to gratitude.  I am grateful for 10 wonderful years with Dale.  He was always cheerful, colorful, and steady.  It was his steadfastness that changed my life.  He accepted each day as a gift and lived that way. He also died that way.   I will always feel that is what he gave me..........a real look into the real world.  So, steady she goes!

I had already said goodby to my love, but today was the real release.  And friends and family were allowed to say farewell as well.  We all have our memories and to be honest, we didn't tell a lot of them as they were just a bit too colorful (lest anyone would think that I was endorsing him for sainthood!)

I suppose that I should close this entry, also and start my new, real life.

Sherry